I Loved You Instantly
by Dongji
Summary: This is a one-shot centering Kushina's inner thoughts on the evening her nephew was born (that's Kakashi; refer to 'Blinded By Fault', my other story). This can be considered a flashback on Kushina's end, too. This is a huge risk for me, but please give my work a chance. " I do not own Naruto, just the OC's. Rated T for language. Enjoy and feel free to review!


**So, this is a one-shot in Kushina's POV. I suggest reading/referring to my other story "Blinded By Fault" before reading this so you know where everyone's at and what's going on. Or you could do it the other way and read this first (lol, doesn't matter, I suppose). Either way, please enjoy and review if you like! It is much appreciated. Rated T for language. I do not own Naruto or the characters; I only own Erika Hatake and the doctors. Enjoy! ^_^"**

It was a cold evening in February. Sun-dried forests were replenished with fresh rain. The moon shone silver rays over the village, broadcasting a sort of radiance to be praised as indescribable. Fireflies sparkled like the bright stars dancing in the sky. Night dwellers hummed and hissed, yet their existences were obscured by screens of dripping shrubs.  
>People strolled through the streets. Mothers hurried children along, expecting hands outstretched. Fathers let out sighs of relief in the day's end, anticipating homemade dinners.<p>

Sakumo-Sensei and I had concluded our daily spar early that evening and he, probably out of pity for my defeat, was treating me to ramen when we heard that Erika was in labor.  
>I remember the look on my teacher's face. He shot up immediately, face gravid with the urge to sprint to his house, but then he looked back at me with another countenance-perhaps of deep thought or of hesitation.<br>"Kushina," he said, finally, "let's go. I need you."

I scrambled to my feet in an instant. "Yes sir."

**##**

Every jinchuriki has the same use; we're weapons. We're jagged time-bombs to be poked and prodded until we can't take it anymore. So, when Sensei said he needed me, I perceived it to be for something other than to fetch water and towels for about fifteen hours.

Erika's screams echoed through the house and tore through the neighborhood. Trepidation was a suitable word for what I was utterly overflowing with. I had never heard such desperate, horrifying wails of sheer agony in my life.

She was upstairs in the master bedroom when Sensei and I arrived. The doctors were already there and working. Sweat dripped from their brows; the lead doctor barked orders at fast-working nurses.

Sensei positioned himself at her side, clutching her hand. "Erika, I'm here." he said, losing his calm voice. That was saying something. This was a man who kept his composure in the most drastic situations, a man who would step back and carefully analyze every small detail. I could see panic deep in his eyes. But, like any man trying to protect his woman, he did not allow it to stop him from letting his woman see his face.

Erika gazed at him, sweaty and breathing hard, as if she had just fallen in love again. "Sakumo..." she gasped almost in awe. For some reason, my eyes landed on her naked ring finger. Still no ring. I hoped Sensei and Erika would be okay with having a kid out of wedlock.

Out of nowhere, after about half an hour, she punched Sensei with her free hand, clawed at him while screaming, "YOU DID THIS!" I jumped and shrunk into the nearest corner. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"  
>She broke into tears then, and Sakumo wiped them away. In a weary, distraught voice, she wept, "You gave me the cancer."<p>

Erika Yuno-Hatake was a huge religion fanatic who believed in a vengeful, merciless god. She would blatantly cut herself in various places with butcher knives and call it penance. Sensei had once found her stringing a noose around her own neck after a disagreement over which milk is the better brand. She always said, "women are dirty sinners and they serve men. Men are pigs, but they are women's masters."

Once, Sensei and I were arguing over my lack of training and devotion to the ninja world. He thought I should be more responsible and manage my time wisely to improve, considering I was a Genin, and I told him to shove it. Erika snuck up behind me and almost cut my hair off, but Sensei held her back. She despised my red hair, more than I did.

Red hair. Red; the color of lust and trickery.

In her eyes, I was a servant of Satan, taking the form of a nine year-old jinchuriki girl.

In the candle-lit room, she eyed me and cringed. "What is that bitch doing here?" she asked her boyfriend, almost a whisper. I frowned and bit my tongue. Now, it had been five hours, and she JUST noticed me. The wet towel in my hand was twisted and near an ugly tear.

"Don't say that. Please." Sensei implored. "Kushina was worried about you, too." He gave me a look, demanding that I respond.

I faked a smile and nodded like an obedient child, "I wanted to support you in any way I-"

"UGGHHH!" Erika exploded in the throws of another contraction. Her back arched and her grip tightened on the sheets. Sakumo-Sensei watched her closely. He gestured for the wet towel, I handed it to him, and he wiped her brow gingerly.

"You're doing great, Erika!" Dr. Toko encouraged. She was sitting at the delivery site, hands ready and waiting. There was so much blood staining the towels and bedsheets. "It's crowning! Almost there!"

In addition to knowing that the two hadn't married by then, I was mortified that they-not even the doctor-knew the sex of the baby. I mean, how do unmarried couples prepare for a baby? They would buy a doll, and then have to go back and buy a truck the next day. Or they would take the neutral route and buy loads of plain teddy bears.

If it were me, I'd want to know everything about my little angel before it got within my reach. Everything: its estimated birth date, how healthy it would be, whether it was a he or a she.

Well, I kept my mouth shut and kept watching as a small lump of skin came slowly, but steadily out of Erika and into safe hands. Sakumo-Sensei was comforting her with soft and encouraging words. My eyes stung from lack of sleep and my body was fatigued.

After another three hours, Erika fell silent and the house filled with a baby's shrieking. So pure and fragile.  
>Dr. Toko cut the umbilical cord and held you carefully. She took you away to clean. Sensei was nearing tears. I'd never seen my sensei break down in tears before-not even at funerals. He wiped his eyes and smiled this gleeful smile at his girlfriend. Erika was reciting some sinister prayer about being saved and Eve's sins, eyes closed, blocking us out.<p>

Sensei gazed at me and mouthed thank-you's across her. I smiled back and nodded, taking a seat on the bed. My legs were like jelly.

In the hours I spent at Sensei's house, I came to realize that there was no way I'd explain my breaking curfew to Papa when he and Nani came home. Papa was dating a beautiful woman named Tsunade at the time. He asked her to drop by the house last night to make sure I was doing what I was supposed to do.

Given that I was at the Hatake house, I figured I shouldn't be in that much trouble.

Your cries collapsed to soft whimpers. Dr. Toko brought you back, wrapped in a blanket. Your eyes had not yet opened, and you were still swollen and pink. The doctor placed you in Sensei's arms, congratulating him. Tears finally fell from his eyes and he gave you a weak smile. He put you on Erika's chest.

"You did it, honey." he said and eyed me. "See, look at him, Kushina."

I inched in closer for a good look at you. I gently pulled down the blanket sheathing your face and squinted. A habit for close inspection. "He...he looks just like you, Sensei!" I said, almost laughing at such an obvious resemblance. "Like, a squishy, bald version of you without wrinkles!"

Sensei laughed at my insensitive comment. He didn't care; he was too overwhelmed with joy and love. "Yeah...he's my boy, for sure."  
>Erika remained stagnate, leaned against the headboard. Her eyes were slit in a suspicious way. Even with you on her breast, she did not bring her arms up to hold you. "Hi there, Kakashi. I'm Daddy," Sensei glanced at his wife-to-be, "and this is Mommy."<p>

Kakashi Hatake.  
>Such a cute name.<p>

Tears streamed down my face. I was so happy for my teacher, for Erika. They were good people-unorthodox, maybe. But good. Your tiny hands were balled in fists, and your chubby legs would kick out at random times. You kept making those adorable little cooing noises. But what was even more precious was the little frown you had on.

Erika suddenly touched your face with her thumb. She was gentle, moving slow. Her nails traced your cheekbones and then the thin lining of your neck. "Kakashi..." she hummed, taking you. Sensei smiled, and got up to show the doctor to the top of the staircase, thanking him. Leaving me and Erika alone.

"He's perfect." I said to break the silence between us.

"Yes."

Erika sat up to further cradle you, placing you on the bed before her. You was reaching out for her touch, eyes still closed. The love between parent and child was one of the most valuable things in life. It was a necessity. Nothing could break it or tarnish it.

Or at least that was what I thought when I saw Erika raise a cleaver to her ear. "Die, sin."

I saw the weak muscles in her emancipated arm flex. "NO!" I snatched you from the blade's path and stepped back in the corner, protecting your head in my chest. "SENSEI!" I screamed in desperation.

Sakumo-Sensei came dashing back in an instant, as if he expected this to happen. He took Erika by the shoulders and forced her to lay back down, despite her hollers of hatred and prayer.

I was staring at the knife that was firmly engulfed in the mattress's cushion. The bedspread appeared to be sunctioned by the impact. The blade was concealed in it, almost handle-deep. I imagined your denied fate, seeing your body brutalized by the stab. Erika was pointing at you, screaming, "HE is watching us! KILL ALL SIN!"

You began crying in terror. Your hands grabbed my shirt and pulled. I took that as my cue to get you out of the room as soon as possible. Erika's voice followed us out, "SHE'S EMBRACED IT! YOU WILL BE PUNISHED FOR YOUR DEFIANCE, CHILD!"

I ignored her, as usual. Now in the living room downstairs, I was breathing heavily from both fear and running. How could she try to do that?! You kept crying this heartbreaking sob. I glanced up at the bedroom door, hearing my sensei trying to soothe Erika. The real reason I did that was to make sure she wasn't chasing me. I had her baby, but she wanted you for her own penance or whatever.

I rocked you the best I could and sat down on the couch. You were so small in my arms. Light. "Shh, Kakashi." I hushed you. "It's okay. Everything's okay, now."

Right then, as I said that, you opened your eyes. My heart stopped, and I immediately looked up at the room again to see the door being closed. Damn, Sensei needed to be here. I looked back down at you, who was silent and staring at me.

Oh, you had these beautiful, iridescent grey eyes. So full in size and slick in shape. You reached up, so I gave you my finger. "Hi." I said, unsure what to say to something so breath-taking. You blinked. I smiled. "Kakashi." I loved that name.

You smiled back widely and laughed at me. With you other hand, you half-touched, half-slapped my face. I made a face, and you laughed harder. Always such a bundle of mischief and dark humor...

I didn't care. You were a blessing; an angel sent down from Heaven. I dreaded the moment I had to let you out of my arms. You were so perfect. We were just...inseparable. Your eyes slowly closed and you reached up and took my finger. You slept peacefully, with me as your final sight.

I loved you instantly.


End file.
